Back to square one

I had hoped to be able to update again with happy news.  Alas, I am on the job search again.  My year of service with Americorps is over.  I had been preparing for the end for a few months by sending out my resume, applying for jobs, the usual.  A friend at work recommended me for an awesome job at a local nonprofit organization.  The position was coordinating local volunteers and school systems to teach work readiness and entrepreneurial skills to students.  Perfect!  I made it to the second round of interviews.  Then I started doing something against my better judgment.  Dreaming.  Planning.  Envisioning what my new life might be like.

You can guess the rest.  I did not get the job.  To say I was very disappointed would be an understatement.  Devastated was/is more like it.  Close, but no cigar.  I went from preparing to move into a new apartment to wondering how in the world I'm going to make my next student loan payment and put gas in my car.  An Americorps paycheck wasn't exactly breaking the bank...but it was steady income.

So, I am back at square one.  And therefore, I am going to use this to solicit prayers, job leads, whatever anyone can contribute.  As for the prayers, pray that I keep my sanity.  That I don't get consumed by worry/frustration/anger.  That I can learn how to keep trusting and hoping.  As for the job leads, I'm pretty much open at this point.  I'd prefer to stay in the nonprofit or service related fields.

To keep this from being utterly depressing, I do have a happy bit of news.  I'm going to Honduras next week!  Two groups from our church will be staying and working at a girl's orphanage where two of my friends have been faithfully serving.  Look for many many pictures when I get back!

Born to run? Hardly.

You know those people who love to run?  It's a hobby.  They plan their days around when they can run. They get excited about it.  They're constantly thinking of ways to improve their times.  They find it enjoyable...downright fun, even.

I am not one of those people.

So, imagine my own surprise when I decided to start training for a 5K.  I know.  I can't believe it myself everytime I lace up my running shoes and head to the track. 

The course was set for this running thing back in January.  I decided that it was time to get healthy and start taking care of myself.  I joined weight watchers online to jumpstart the process.  Little did I know, some of my friends from my small group started a week before me.  The timing was impeccable.  It's been so helpful to have other people keep me disciplined.  These same friends started training for a 5K.  My initial thought was..."Why?"  I have never liked to run.  Ever.  There was a time when I was pretty diligent about going to the gym, but you would never find me running.  I'm still not sure what made me turn the corner and decide to train, but I did.

Luckily for me, one of my dear friends is a machine when it comes to running.  She pretty much decided she was going to be my coach whether I asked or not.  And what a great coach she's been!  Thanks Coach Jessica!  Anyway, I can't say that I've become one of "those people" yet when it comes to running.  I still feel like I'm going to die during our training sessions.  I still could not be happier when we're done.  I still don't get upset when I can't run.  It's still hard, and I'm not progressing as quickly as I would like. But I AM acutally glad that I'm doing it.  I feel so much better.  I can't attribute it all to running, but I am so much happier than I was before January.

So, that's my first adventure.  Next step: actually sign up for a 5K.  Look for it in the fall.  I definitely don't love running enough to do it when it feels like the inside of an oven outside.

Deciding to write

A massive overhaul.  That's what I'm giving my life right now.  It's been a long time coming, but I've been inspired lately.  One inspiration is the same source as the blog title.  Decide what to be and go be it; It's a line from one of my favorite Avett Brothers songs. I may or may not be a little obsessed with them. It sounds so simple, right? I have this bad habit of thinking things are just going happen to me.  Some might. I'm certainly not in charge of the universe.  If the Lord decides something needs to happen to me, He'll make it happen whether I'm involved or not.  But maybe, just maybe, sometimes I'm supposed to take some action...do something in faith even if I don't know how it will turn out.  I know, I know...this is not a new concept.  Hey, I'm stubborn.  Sometimes it takes me awhile.  There are things I'm still waiting for Him to reveal to me and seeking guidance about (Hello, future employment!) but why not make that waiting a little less boring? So, I'm deciding what to be...and I'm going to be it.  It's time for some adventures.
The other inspiration for changing things up was an entry on one of my favorite blogs, Stuff Christians Like.  This blog is always good for a laugh, but Serious Wednesdays are SERIOUS.  Sort of like a gut punch from the Lord.  There's no way I can say it better, so I'll just quote: "Sometimes, as Christians we have this weird assumption that to celebrate your abilities and your gifts is a sin. As if quietly possessing them is holy and loudly living with them can only be an act of arrogance. But I’m not so sure anymore. They’re not my gifts. I didn’t give them to myself. I received them. And so did you. You are a unique work of art. You reflect an artist the world needs to know. He did not give you those gifts to hide them. Don’t look for your identity in web traffic or success at work or in relationships. Today, don’t search for something that has already been found. Your identity is set. That debate is over.
Today, don’t be a shy work of art. Be a loud work of art." -Works of Art, #963
A loud work of art.  I like that.  I want to be that.  I'm not doing myself or anyone around me any favors by keeping my gifts to myself OR by being afraid to try new things and see what else I might be able to do.  I have so many reasons to rejoice.  So it's time to live like it.  I'm going to make this blog a journal of my changes and adventures.  Some are already in progress: getting healthy (physically and spiritually), painting, blogging (ha!).  Some have yet to be realized.  That's the fun part!